Yes, both of you ladies are correct! That is just what the counselor said. This is not dealing with a normal, cooperative person, so my actions have to be adjusted.
I have GREATLY minimized contact, and his wife has been blocked for quite some time, giving me much more peace. However, I have always done these things I think because he has always made me feel guilty that I have more time w/our children. However, that is his CHOICE. He wants everything on his terms, and life just does not work that way.