JeffreyAK

I haven't either.

For me, autopilot meant, there was no internal dialog at all. If I need to run to the store for toilet paper, I just grab my wallet and get in the car and go to the store to buy toilet paper. There is no dialog about whether or not I should be buying toilet paper given my history of negative consequences with toilet paper, no "toilet paper addict voice", no shame or remorse that I'm feeding my toilet paper addiction, I just run and get toilet paper.

There were times when buying alcohol was like that, even though I knew I had a problem, and maybe was even attending an outpatient program to help me quit. The internal dialog that should have happened, and did happen most of the time, never happened. And I'd find myself drinking, and wondering how I had managed to acquire alcohol and start drinking without any internal dialog.