Hi SR I woke up feeling good after I made a post last night, doing a lot of reflecting here on how I respond to myself. Maybe I need to treat myself the way I treat others with a little kindness, patiance, love, understanding, encouragement, Yekkkkkkkkk. I don't know if I like that so much, but I emailed my sponsor this morning and told him that it is probably best to go ahead and get the truck fixed, what if something happened when I was driving, not only could I be killed but worse than that I might kill someone else if the ball joint goes out or the break lines. Then I also mentioned to him that I might have to pick up a part time job for now just to make ends meet (cause I am really struggeling right now) not saying that I won't make it but with all that is going on I could use a little extra cash. He got on the horn with me this morning and told me "I AM PROUD OF YOU!". Here is what he said "1. That I figured out that it would be best to fix the truck cause it could cause harm to me or someone else. 2. That I am reflecting on what I am doing and seeing where I need to change. 3. I decided that I might have to get a job to make ends meet. Vic we all have to go threw this together and you are doing great I am proud of you!" OMG am I starting to come out of this fog finally that I have been in? Is my mind now starting to work a little better the more days that I am sober? I hope that I can continue doing what I have to do to keep my sobriety, but what is important to me right now is learning how to live sober. Thank you SR for allowing me to share.
Love Vic