Thank you all so much for your replies. I couldn't figure out how to reply to each post individually, or thank everyone individually (will have to learn how to use this site) so had to just do one reply.
It is so wonderful to know I have a place now where I can go and ask questions and get help and advise from others who understand.
I had not heard about AVRT before and just ordered a book on Amazon so I can start reading about it. It makes so much sense as it is a voice in my head that tells me I can just have one or two just this once to stop the urges and no one will know. Can't wait to read more about it.
I know AA is a huge help for many and I have tried before many times but never stuck it out. However I will go back and try again.
It is very inspirational to read everyone's stories and encouragement.
Thank you all for your advice and support, I plan to stay here and walk this path together with you from now on.