Well the thing is I am staying sober but there is all hell around the corner when I have to face up to what I have done and be honest with my wife. I don't know what will come out the other side. She is in a desperate state and I have done something so bad I'm not sure it can be forgiven.
I notice my post has had hundreds of views compared to replies - I know that's because my situation is so reprehensible and unpalatable for so many people - I feel shamed and judged but fair enough - I deserve it