Not sure if I had the big ah hah moment after 34 years together. After I found a drafted email to me, of ah explaining to me that "girlfriends" husband was going to kill him because he found sexting between the two of them on girlfriends phone. It was about 2 weeks before Christmas. I kicked him out, but he said it was his home and wouldn't leave. He moved to the basement. The first week of January I walked back in to the walls of alanon, after an on again, off again relationship for 15 years.
I divorced him 10 months later. He's still a train wreck, but I am not.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done, (divorcing my ah) even comparing it to childbirth. So each and everyone of you on this forum, who have gone through hxll with their addict, I have such respect for you for just "surviving". Waking up every day, getting dressed and trying to live a "normal" life. You reached out on sr because you just couldn't take it anymore. All of us have walked in your shoes. Doesn't matter if you are a 20 year member or a 2 day member, we all were in the same boat at one time in our life. Everyone's voice matters, we all get it.
My heart breaks reading this thread, as all of our lives have been so drastically changed, by the addicts in our lives. I know the future of legalizing marijuana throughout the US is almost guaranteed, and it makes me sick. What addiction has done to me and my family and looking to the future, it scares me to death. But we are all here to give each other support, compassion or just a hug to anyone who reads and posts on this forum. We are all survivors, and with time, will be ok!!
Hugs to you all, we are good people with good hearts!!!!