Hi all, I don't have anyone to talk/vent out these things except here. So my apologies ahead for writing a long post or if my typo annoys you (typing from my phone)
Just tonight another episode arised. 2 nights to this week I had to go with him to a cousins bday party and and impromptu drinks with his other cousins 2 days after. With the impromptu drinks I had an urgent meeting that required my attention which lasted for 3 hours because of he intricqcy of the deal. Now thats when I started being silent to him.
He got bored because it was taking me too long to wrap up my meeting (I asked him to come with me for support) with a possible buyer for my dads business. So he went out, had dinner to himself and nagged me for taking too long because we have an agreed time to be with his cousins for a 9pm drinking spree. Which I actually exited 15mins past 9. Prior to that when we went to his cousins bday, after the happy hours he started being angry drunk on me again. We had a flat tire so we had it fixed at a nearby gas station. While he was checking the tires with the gas boy beside him he suddenly told me on a loud voice (which the gas boy heard) saying "make sure you are not flirting with other men huh! The thought of it makes me angry". And you know what Ive been commited to this relationship and I felt embarrassed because I know the gas boy heard him.
Now tonight, We did a few errands and got into another argument. he's been calling me names that I dont even say to him its hurtful and he doesnt seem to acknowledge that what hes doing is wrong. So tonight I blew up in the car and suddenly yelled (moderate high voice with a bot of irkness) and it started with another fight. i retaliated and called him names so he will undersrand how it feels like to be treated as such so he blurted out that we are done. Out of my anger I said yes. So he packed his stuff at my place since he claims that he no longer respects me and that it will only be worse.
So I let him and he's somewhere God knows where! Ive been devoted and commited to him so Im boggled at that thought that he says he no longer respects me. And that I yelled and called him names back that he took it us disrespectful.
Im hurt eith his decidion but I also know its the right thing to do given his behavior. i have female kids with me and as much as possible I dont want them to think that settling for a drunkard in life is ok. So I let him leave. But I cant deny the fact that Im hurt, disappointed, and borken hearted. This is what I msged him earlier.....
"All the while I thought it was just a clash of ideals. In the end you, it became clear to me that you choose alcohol over the relationship that we built. It was never about respect, you simply wanted to cling to your habits."
.....and his response....
If thats what see it let it be. Thank you for having me there. Im sorry for every hurt i caused. Lets just move on. We will just hurt each other more if we stay together. Ill try to re establish a life again
Can anyome pls give me a sense of what he said? I get it he wants out. But knowing him, hes wanting out because he chose alcohol over gettingn better. Its painful and Im struggling to let him back if he ask so I can have him on theraphy or I'll just completely walk out no matter how painful it is.
Pls give me your guidance. I know I can dwal with the pain. Im just struggling to understand why he suddenly walks out the door that easily