Ituvia....if you read through the thousands of real life stories, here, on the forum.....you will see your same question, asked, over...and over...and over. the question about what was "real" in the relationship....
This seems to baffle almost everyone who is grieving the lost or destroyed relationship....
I don't think it is an easy question to answer.....I will say, though, that your FEELINGS were real.....It is that he was looking though his filter of alcoholism....and you were looking through your own filter....especially, (in your case), the filter of need for everlasting security....
It troubles you deeply, that he doesn't ask about the dogs. You, obviously. see this as a symbol. You think of the dogs as your "children" that you were raising , together...and, he seem to see them as pets that he no longer lives with....(two different filters)....
You can never know what is another person' mind, completely. You can only estimate, based on their presenting behaviors (and, through your filter)....
And, I think you have to accept that you may never know......