Whatever fears you have JUK or what a bad situation you're in, I think your wife's may just trump them on both counts.
Nows not the time to be self indulgent.
I'm not saying this to be mean but this situation right now isn't about you, JUK.
Whatever you've done or haven't done and what the consequences of that might be is immaterial right now.
Thats another issue for another time,
Find out what the irregularities are and what the course of treatment is.
Support your wife, She must be terrified.
The rest can wait.
Pull it together, man.
Be there for your wife.
D