4 months after my boyfriend moved in, things of this nature began happening. He promised he'd change, stay sober... it lasted 2-4 weeks at most, and then another 3 day binder, 3 days of withdrawals, sometimes a busted face, sometimes blood, always hell.
They cannot get "better" without help bc they need to learn the science behind addiction and how their brain function is neurologically different. Their brain is wired to feed the addiction, and that is the priority,.. everything else comes second (if at all). It takes lots of self awareness, education on alcoholism, education on the brain of an addict, and a LOT OF WORK.
I broke up with my boyfriend to give him time to focus on himself so we could then focus on each other. A month and a half later, he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore, and is very happy working in the bar industry, and is still drinking. After everything I went through for him, I was left with nothing.
Never having been exposed to addiction prior, I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. Knowing what I know today, I would have seen the red flags for what they were on our 3rd date. And it became so much worse than I ever could have imagined.
You're seeking a normal response and behavior from someone with an abnormal brain. Alcoholics are delusional and irrational, and they make you feel like YOURE the crazy one, and end up making you more insane than you've ever been. Even if they become sober, there's always the chance they could relapse. I personally can't live that life. Some people can.
My pain is massive and feels debilitating at times. But my life is boring and eventless, and I have nothing throwing me into hysteria.
I worry about him all the time. But I have to accept that I have zero control over his alcoholism... and if he chooses to sabatoge his life, there's nothing I can do about it. Which is why I had to walk away. I couldn't watch the love of my life slowly kill himself. It was torture.