Heartbroken and Concerned
First time posting. I apologize in advance if this is lengthy. Just trying to recap my relationship.
It was a short relationship--only about 5 months but I knew him for longer as we worked together. When we first started dating I noticed he drank a lot but, as a fellow alcohol enjoyer I assumed it was just a social thing.
We became very close, very fast. We clicked. There was something about him that comforted me. We enjoyed each other's company, balanced each other out, and supported each other. He also has a 6 year old daughter who I got very close with.
As the months went on and I began spending more time at his house I began to notice alcohol was more of an issue than I thought. He was passing out on the couch and driving while intoxicated. He was able to go the week without drinking but on weekends once he started he couldn't stop. Eventually, he lost his job. I wrote him a very lengthy and tough-love letter regarding his drinking and his job. He made a few changes but they didn't stick.
Last weekend I spent the entire morning taking care of his daughter while he laid in bed hungover until noon. The following night I woke up to him passed out on the couch but this time he was unresponsive. I lifted his body up to give him a pillow and role him on his side. The next day I told him to tell me if he wasn't willing to change because if that was the case I was going to leave. He told me he didn't care enough about himself to change. So I packed my bags and left. He didn't say a word.
Three days later I went to his house and told him to tell me why he didn't try to fight for me--I needed the closure. Long story short he told me he would change, he didn't need help and that he would prove to me that he can change. I told him I didn't trust him and that he better not make a fool out of me. He promised, and told me he would prove to me that I am more important than alcohol.
Fast forward to this past Saturday. He went out with his friend and texted me saying he was doing well with moderation and was proud. I went to sleep and woke up at 3 to a voicemail saying he was locked up. Before I could figure out where he was, he walked in with a police officer. He had crashed his car and was arrested for a DUI. At three in the morning I left. He stood on the porch and I told him that it only took him five days to screw things up. He said he needed help. I told him to "***king get it".
He sent me a genuine apology text on Sunday. He is ashamed, feeling selfish, scared, lost. I know he is hurting and he told me he was getting help for himself and for his daughter, stating "is clear I can't control it". This is the first time he has admitted needing help.
So it seems straightforward. I know I made the right decision by leaving but I miss the hell out of him and wish I could be there to support him but realistically know that I can't take on that role. I want to make sure he's okay but I don't think texting is the right thing to do. I wish his family knew what was going on. I want to make sure he is safe. And then there is the part of me that dreams of him getting help, committing to recovery, and wanting me back. That's the heartbreak talking I'm sure.
I guess I'm just lost. I feel broken. I worry about him, sitting at home with no car and no job and no health insurance. I'm not even angry at him, I'm angry at the alcohol.