Casseopia

Thanks Dandylion. I know it intellectually and I know I'll feel it one day for real but currently, I still feel devastated and am still swirling around in all of the many stages of grief.

We'd only just got married so my feelings of being bonded to him were at their strongest.

One thing I keep reading here is that addicts are really good at making you feel like you're their soulmate, The One, that this relationship was the most special one they've ever had. That has REALLY hurt. I genuinely did feel like it was special. I was in love and I felt totally loved. And to have to consider that convincing me of this was just one tool in his addict toolbox is very, very painful.

So many lies, so much illusion and I fell for it all.