Originally Posted by
Ituvia 
Atalose, yes, I kicked him out and asked him back. He came back home, stayed with me for three days. In those three days, he said he'd stop drinking and that we should get married and move to Canada(which was the plan all along). Fourth day, he left. Without telling me. I didn't kick him out
But you did kick him out in the first place. I think he did you a favour leaving of his own accord. You had a very lucky escape. Marriage to him would have been a disaster. I've just read your back story and do you really want that kind of life? I wasted 20 years with my exah and nothing he has ever done has made sense, added up or been rational. It was all about protecting his drinking and that was his first love, same as your exbf.
You ask :-
Did he love me? Was I ever loved?
Probably did or probably didn't. Maybe or maybe not. It really doesn't matter anymore cos your relationship is
over and the only answers you will find are within yourself. Focusing on yourself will help you heal. Learning to love yourself will help you not to choose a man like him again....that drove you to violence and made you feel like rubbbish.
Facebook is a nightmare. Blocking him would be a start. Looking at what he is doing is not helping you move on. If he's got new girlfriend look on it he is someone elses problem now.