Originally Posted by MesaMan

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GaryB1 ~

I'd like to toss out a few more reasons to stick around here. I read here much more than I post anymore because I'm out living Sober and Recovered. RV Trailer Camping and taking pictures, especially...

The Forum 'Experience', that you're undergoing, is something that initially didn't suit me, either. In fact, I Bookmarked a Website on Logical Errors, and would occasionally post a link to a germane example so that flat-out distortions didn't go unchallenged. 'Tell a lie often enough, and it becomes the Truth', eh? The ole Numbers Game distortion: a Program must be 'the best' because it has so many Adherents. I'm thinking to myself: 'Hey, Folks, we're not choosing a Hamburger Chain here. We're settling in on the optimum Recovery Program for Individuals'. If a particular 'Leading' Hamburger doesn't suit me, I could not care less how many Folks swear 'it's the best'. Further, I couldn't support this sort of trivializing re: Life/Death Recovery Programs whereby you pick one like it's some Popularity Contest in High School. My formerly-sotted Brain still works fine, and is my most important Resource. It still provides Critical Thinking Skills to choose the 'best' Recovery Program. For me.

1+ Year in for me [early 2015], my Issues became Social Setting-based. Because I live with an Active Pot & Alcohol Addict, there was initial pressure to 'have fun' at Dinners where everyone else was Drinking. Well, to quote a Bumper Sticker from Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream: 'If It's Not Fun, Why Do It?' That became my Mantra, and I gingerly set down increasingly-firm Boundaries in this ~40 Year Marriage. These emerging Boundaries were based on poor Social Setting experiences. My Wife can go alone and Drink, or can abstain with me in tow. I need a supportive Partner IF I'm to endure sloshy Drunks for any time. We leave when I've had enough. Period. I'm not trying to change her. I'm busy changing me. Serenity First.

'Sobriety Is Not For Sissies', as I like to say. We all have to get on in a Drinking Culture. Dinners. Sports Events. Concerts. We've each got to find our own Coping Strategies without feeling as if we sold ourselves out; Teeth grinding away. I realized that the Model for getting what I could out of 'Net Forums was a larger parallel - a Rehearsal, if you will - to living Sober in a Drinking Culture. And, I'm an experienced Moderator on 4 other Forum/Social Media Pages. I had to adapt to being a Recovered Person via RR/AVRT which is also a 'Minority' Program vis-a-vis more 'popular' Programs. My own Conclusion? Detach, and get used to being an 'Outsider'. In a Drinking Culture and in on-line settings. It's like a double whammy that I initially didn't see coming. I thought that 'just' living Sober in a Drinking Culture was all there was to master. Nope. I also had to adapt to Sober Culture.

My main point for you [and Tatsy] is to consider using the Forum Experience as a sort of Boot Camp Training for Sober Life going forward. We right here are all 'Minority' Sober People using a 'Minority' Recovery Method. I don't know of any way to speed up this Process. You just have to slog through it, and skip the GroupThink IF there's no Truth in it for you.

Through Insights from a smart Pal who used to train on 'People Types' at a huge Telecom Company, I learned we Introverts recharge when we're quiet and thinking. Being in Crowd settings, or forced 'Sharing', can be draining. Square Peg -> meet Round Hole. We are not something 'deficient' or 'outside the mainstream' to be changed via being forced into uncomfortable Meetings. THAT could lead to Relapse [for me] early on far more than me going about just being my good ole Introverted Self. This Self-Realization was huge for me, and I was already several Years into RR and serenely Recovered by the time my Pal shared this with me.

Now, I just chuckle at the assertion that Programs like RR are 'going it alone'. I've wondered if a Member putting forth this non-Truth realized the irony of asserting this on this Forum with more Members and valued Experiences than could EVER fit into any Meeting Room? I connect daily with Folks here via on-line methods that work for this Introvert. Why on Earth would I care about other methods that don't work for me, or increase my Stress Level [or, dreaded Boredom while rehashing Drunk-a-Logs]? On-line Meetings are another option, of course, for those of us on the move.

Choose and refine your Recovery Path for you, my Friend: the only Sober Person that matters.
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