Sorry, abb. Families can mess us up in ways we never imagined.
I know you were wishing for the best with your AH, but, alas, things have gone sideways. Enlightening that you notice she triggers him. Good to know.
It will be interesting to see what happens when your sil leaves.
Do you have a plan going forward? (Sorry. I haven't read your previous posts.)
What I mean is, are you prepared if he shows back up on YOUR doorstep?
Peace.