abbccj03

I just want to vent about my sister-in-law a little bit. I know there might not be much need for a response. Just needed a place to vent in an anonymous location. I appreciate the positive thoughts n support. I was naïve and thought sending AH to her house would make him miss us terribly and think about how his actions caused our family split. I was wrong and thought that she would actually try to help him and do whatever she could to get him back to his family. I unfortunately sent An alcoholic in denial to live with a another alcoholic in denial. There was a few years where we didn't speak to her family because her husband attacked my husband when he was drunk while holding our son. I can say that during those years we didn't speak my AH was less negative. This was when he had actually stopped drinking for a while. I realize now it was only when we repaired that relationship with them that I noticed he did fall back into patterns again of negativity and drinking. It just came to me the other day that she is one of his triggers. He can be happy and then he talks to her on the phone and she is always negative about everyone in the family and everybody else and they worry about what everyone else is doing and he gets off the phone and he's in a horrible mood. I remember when we were buying our house she would not even come look at it because he didn't seek her input or approval. When we went over there to show her the papers on it she said she hoped it would be demolished and destroyed. She said get those papers out of here and I don't want to hear anything about it. She told me her and her AH used to talk about what kind of toilet paper to buy and she was devastated that he wouldn't even seek her advise or approval on our house. Hello--- he had a WIFE!! Another time my husband had his shirt off at the lake and maybe put on a few pounds but by no means was fat and she told him get a shirt on bc u r so fat. 8 years ago and he still keeps a shirt on bc her words have stuck with him. No matter how many times I have told him he is handsome or good looking. She has made him so self-conscious it's not even funny. So I sent him to live in the house where drinking is approved, drinking is normal, drinking is OK even when you're losing youre family. Lets be drinking buddies together. She leaves in a week or so to go back to her husband in another country so it will be interesting to see what my AH does when she is gone. I am not blaming her that he has a drinking problem. That is all on him. But I guess in my mind I had hoped that she would be more of a support system and that she would want our kids to have a happy household. If u know some of my story u know their dad died in an alcohol related accident when they were the same age as my younger children. I was naive in thinking she would not want them to deal with the same devastating consequences that drinking can cause in a family. She has her best brother drinking buddy and handy man doing all of her home projects right now. (She was one he always would go help remodel and Pay him in beer). I only know he is doing projects bc when he dropped kids off he asked if he could grab some tools. I'm bitter bc the only project I want him to work in is HIM! *sigh*. My children are hurting. They miss their dad. This is just so hard.