Originally Posted by
August252015 
This is something that AA's step 4 then step 9 are invaluable for IME. Getting me to focus ONLY on my part of it as I made my inventories then amends was sometimes tough- still is- and as the book says there are some amends better not made. Getting away from the "I"/ego - ie, what was done TO me, what I DIDN'T get, etc- and focusing only on my side of the street is something I work on in every amends/apology situation. And....I cannot control anything but that part, or worry about someone's reaction or receptivity to my efforts. It is very freeing to take my responsibility and let the rest go.
Yes, I've claimed my responsibility for this. Even in the end stages of my disease (right before the hospital), I knew I had been deadly mistaken and I really regret it. See above post.
I won't write an apology, because as you've said, it would be focusing on what happened to me. No matter how eloquence and subtle it was, it would ultimately read as, "Hey, I'm sorry I did that. I was drunk off my a, and please forgive me".
No, thanks. They do deserve an apology, but I'm more comfortable with them disliking me and thinking lowly of me. Those actions were the lowest of the low, I kicked them in a after all they've done, and the last thing I want to feel is forgiven. No, I have to live with what I've done.
I did apologize once or twice after I'd written and after the hospital, but I never attribute it to alcohol. They knew I'd been in the hospital because they dropped a line, saying they hoped all was going well (I disappeared for a few months). I can't bring myself to connect the drunkenness and doing that. It's not fair. I made those bad choices. End of story.