I can remember, growing up...it was often said that one needed to know the difference between s*** and shinola. I figured out, that one doesn't have ot know BOTH of them. One only needs to know one of them.
In your case, I think it is important to know the difference between love and manipulation. Likewise, you only need to know one...and you can figure the other one out by default.
It goes like this....
LOVE (on one hand-----------------------------------Manipulation (on the other).
Now, I know that you are an intelligent woman....and I know that you know the cycle, very well. You can recite it in you sleep.
So, based on this...I suggest that you take an index card and write on it in large red letters----This Is Not Love!......carry it with you, at all times.
When he hovers and sends the "gifts" and poetry......pull it out and read the card.
The card will tell you that it is not Love...so, by default, you will know that it is manipulation.