"After 4 months clean 18 months ago with amazing support from SF I decided I was a adult and could handle a glass of wine"
Sorry you had to learn this lesson (and hope you LEARNED IT!).
I had to learn it (and hope I LEARNED IT!).
That being said, I think it is incredibly important for people to hear stories like this.
Over and over and over.
What's true for others is true for all of us.
Once full-blown alcoholism has come into play there is NO going back to drinking normally.