I hope you'll spend some time reading other threads here...you certainly are not alone. This is pretty much textbook...it's always a whirlwind romance with a fast commitment...then once the alcoholic is all moved in and that much harder to extricate...the real drinker emerges.
All the excuses, the denial, the blame shifting, the using of the wife against you and you against her...textbook.
It will get worse and the unthinkable will become normal.
Run.