Nice to meet you rainyengland
I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. My dad died recently too. Alcohol took him to an early grave and sometimes when I think about never being able to speak to him again, the pain feels so raw, it feels like I've been punched in the stomach.
When I'm having a bad day, I like to picture my dad in heaven; sober and happy and cheering me on. I can't think of any better way to honour his memory than not drinking today.
Wishing you lots of luck and strength