Only you know what it feels like to be an alcoholic. Normies might think they have a clue. But they don't.
Your therapist might think he/she has a clue. But they don't, unless they were an alcoholic too.
The desperation is so real, you can taste it. It's impossible to put it into words. There's no way for anyone to get even the slightest idea of what it's like, unless they were an alcoholic. Maybe if they were suicidal. Where things are so bad, they feel there's no other way to escape hell. They probably can relate to a degree.
I was in my personal hell when I posted day 1. A hell that only you would understand. I lost a good paying 20yr career, blew my 401k, lost my family, and my home. All because I was an addict.
Those things happened because I used alcohol and pain killers as a way to escape emotional pain. I was depressed. All starting with the death of my father. I didn't become a drunk right away. Took some time to get there. But as issues kept popping up, and stresses built, I drank more and more to escape it all.
When I was drunk, I was happy. I didn't have regrets. I wasn't insecure. I wasn't shy. I was happy. For a while anyway.
But there comes a point where even bring drunk all day doesn't drown the pain. Pain that grows and grows because you don't deal with it properly. One problem after another. They just keep piling up. Never mind the shame that comes with being a drunk all the time!
It changes your whole outlook on life for the worse. Things keep getting worse. Just when you think it couldn't possibly be worse, something bad happens.
And meanwhile, nothing is being dealt with properly. Either acted upon, resolved, or dealt with emotionally in a healthy way.
I bet many of you know what I'm talking about. A fellow alcoholic has the best chance of knowing what kind of hell I was in.
Here's the thing though. Nobody knows what it's like being a RECOVERING alcoholic either. The freedom. The pride. The joy.
Bejng a recovering alcoholic is one of the BEST feeling in the world. I know because I am 2years sober TODAY
I was just sharing with my brothers over at April 15 and thanking them for their support. Just being there was enough to get me where I am today.
You are not alone. You are not stuck in place with no way out. There IS a door waiting for you to walk through.
I know what it feels like to be desperate. I know what it feels like to be free. And I know what it feels like early on in sobriety.
It's not easy. It is hard and it does take work. It's so hard, you can't so it alone. This is where SR can be a major tool in your bag. It may very well take more than just an online forum. Give it everything you have.
Go all in. Use SR for everything it has to offer. Go to meetings. Read books. See a therapist. See a doctor. Do it all and be done!
Yes, it's a lot of work. But it's worth it. Trust me. Being a recovering alcoholic is the best feeling in the world.
And only another recovering alcoholic knows what I'm taking about. It's awesome. Join me and see!