Thanks for the warning PJ, though TBH I haven't felt the slightest inclination to drink. There was an open bottle of red when I arrived, just poured it down the sink as it would have been in drinkable for hubby anyway. Last night went out for pizza at my fav pizza place, ( they give a whole new meaning to thin and crispy!) some Brits walked in and ordered wine, and all I thought as I drank my Aqua con gas, was ' why do people feel it compulsory to drink alcohol when they eat out? Are they programmed from an early age that eating out is a special occasion and best served with booze? Eating out somewhere like this is commonplace, so even normies end up drinking most nights.
As to the emotions PJ, you have had a lot to process emotionally just relating to your accident and hospitalisation let alone all the things you suppressed or didn't deal with during your drinking.
I know I had a hell of a lot of emotional upheaval the first couple of years as long suppressed pain surfaced. There is no shame in shedding healing tears.
There is a huge push here in the UK to bring mental health issues into the open, to talk about MH at schools. It's something I have been banging on about for years - to 'normalise' acceptance of MH issues. Prince Harry recently opened up about how suppressing his emotions at his moms death for 20 years led to 2 years of real psychological upheaval. His brother blames the British 'stiff upper lip' attitude, not far off in my thinking. Men have it harder than most women, as its ok for women to cry, and we find it easier to share our emotions with a friend. Where as men tend to veer from anything remotely uncomfortable. I always used to be an ear and a shoulder for others, but kept my own emotions to myself. I didn't think others wanted to hear my stuff. I didn't think I needed to share, I could deal.
But I didn't 'deal' at all. I just squished it down into one compressed block that got heavier and heavier, and occasionally leaked. Now I am more open emotionally, I share - especially here, and especially in the early days - I journal, I even use my characters in my books to get old pain out. I talk to hubby, and encourage him to talk to me. I am lucky to be married to my best friend, so I don't have far to go for a shoulder and an ear.
Pops is improving, brother is out of hospital, his test results are all good, and he has been out on medication that he will need to take for life. And Gilmer, as you say, he is having to take stock. He has put on a lot of weight in recent years and has recently bought a delivery company, so that will stress him. He is obsessed with money. Every conversation is about how much something cost, how much he has spent/ saved/ earned. It's how he betrayed me, through money. It bores me stupid, I mean , as long as I can pay the bills and buy chocolate, I'm good. But I am sure his obsession causes him stress, it must. It would be nice to think he would reassess what matters in his life. He never used to be like that. We were the closest when we were growing up and as young adults.
Lordy, I've rambled today. If you have reached this and are still conscious, kudos! The kitchen arrives today, as does a TV box that will allow us to watch anything - importantly the Celtic V Rangers cup match on Sunday - it will be nice to have 'company' in the evenings!