cutting back???
Hello friends. I am a heavy drinker who is trying to cut back. This website is my first attempt at seeking support. When I say I want to cut back, I mean I've gotten to the point where I can "get by" on 4 drinks a day (and often the last one is a double). I realize I have a major dependency, and at this point, I have trouble imagining quitting altoghether. I have this hope that I can get it under control enough to be a social drinker again.
Part of my problem is that my whole life revolves around alcohol, and my has been successful. I own a successful restaurant/bar. I have a draft beer fridge at home. My wife drinks moderatly-heavy as well, but she doesn't have as many "binges" as I do.
At the height of my alcoholism, I was drinking first thing in the morning...and then drinking all day. Right now, I've gotten to the point where I have one drink at 3pm, one at 9pm, one at 11pm and one at 1am. I have trouble sleeping, and this feels like a strange form of torture.
My hope is to get it down to 3 drinks a day, as my next step....without falling off the wagon.
When I fall off the wagon, it happens like this: That drink I have at 1am turns into 2, then 3, then 4....into oblivion. I wake up in a haze, and I've been physicaly ill. This "falling off the wagon" is a weekly occurance for me, and I have trouble controlling it. It seems to be my way of dealing with stress.
My question is this: Does anybody go from being a heavy drinker, to a light or social drinker? The impression I'm getting is that most others manage to get it under control only by quitting. I'm not sure I'm ready to quit, yet.
What do you folks think? If I'm not at the right place here, can anybody point me in the right direction?
chip