I've realized that a lot of this comes to fruition from self-blame.
Regarding the relationship, it was 50/50. She was as accountable as I was. For the last few weeks I've been blaming myself which isn't entirely true.
I'm still trying to find a way to deal with my anxiety/depression. In the past, I would just take a drink to nix it. Now that I am facing these feelings, it is very difficult.
Thank you for the support.