I went no contact with my mom for 3 years. Then, I had a list of "forbidden" behaviors. If she committed one, I'd walk out of my visit on the spot. She tested me once, and when I followed out on my promise our relationship really took off. It wasn't all flowers and candy but the last few years before her death were fantastic! Why? I had done a lot of soul searching over those 3 years and found out who I was.