Subtle Shifts
I have noticed that in the last few weeks, there has been a shift in my relationship to my recovery, and to my past with alcohol. I have begun making peace with the fact that my anxiety and self-doubt will likely never completely go away. This means that I don't have to put so much pressure on myself for not being able to "fix" myself. The pattern of drinking to blunt the feelings of anxiety and inadequacy doesn't hold as much power. I don't have to treat my past like some magical land of pleasure that I can never visit again. I can look at my own history with booze and see that it wasn't really all that great. In fact, some of it was really awful. And I can talk about my alcoholism with my friends and family with more honesty and vulnerability now that the shame is starting to lose some of its hold on me.