brdlvr2 - thanks for your kind words
pickaname - thanks for the prayers. I do believe he's in a better place
cwohio - you are a wonderfully strong woman - the same goes right back at you ((HUGS))
Dakoda - the memories do get better, although the painful ones are still kicking around in my brain. I'm finally able to laugh at some of the things he's done. Thank you for your kind words
emily33 - (((HUGS))) - my brother wouldn't want to live that way, bless you and your family for having to go through that. I'm really not sure which situation is worse.
splendra - my gosh, what a burden you have. Standing back and watching is the hardest part. I guess we just have to trust God.
equus - your words are touching - there really is nothing like the bond of growing up together. But if you don't get it from your siblings, close childhood friends can hold a big bond also. (((HUGS)))
pmaslan - I hope you had a wonderful day today. You must be a special person to share my brother's birthday. I didn't spend much time reflecting - more like trying to keep busy. But I found time to talk about him some and was able to do it without crying.
Minx1969 - we should chat sometime. It sounds like we've got alot in common. Thanks for your kind words.
cynay - thank you
Formerdoormat - I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. Certainly, a lightning strike is very tragic since it's so senseless. Honestly, I saw my brother's end coming - I just didn't expect it to be a choice he would consiously make. I'm glad you got time with your dad before he died. I know when my MIL died, it made it easier that we all had time to spend time with her and say goodbye. Your dad sounds like a very special person. He taught you well. (((HUGS)))
nocellphone - thanks for the vote of confidence. Although there are always steps backwards, I feel like overall I AM moving forward. I do have a goal to get my brothers tragedy out and help others by telling his story. There are so many people who are affected by drugs/alcohol and suicide but no one talks about it. They think people will look down on them, but it's surprising when I open my mouth, how many people respond that they are dealing with a similar issue, at least partly.
stormyautumn - thanks for the link. I will certainly go check it out in the morning.
Thanks again everyone for all your support. As I get stronger, I wll try to get here more often to support others. You just don't know how grateful I am to have found you when I did. I had no idea back then what was in store for me and my family, but obviously God was watching out for me in helping me find this board.
(((HUGS))) and prayers to you all.