maia1234

So I have been very proud of the fact that I blocked AXH from my life since June 16, 2016, but who is counting. I cut him off of all social media, phone and I thought email, but I was wrong. I got an email from him yesterday and it is tugging at my heart strings. ugh, need some gentle support! I wanted to think about this over night on how to handle this!

So my 2 daughters and I are taking a bucket list trip this summer. AXH and I forever talked about doing this trip. My dd24 told him him a couple weeks ago that we were going.

So he reached out yesterday. I know its poor me syndrome, but not sure after a couple years of heavy drinking, life is for ****, no relationship with me or the kids, that this is the opportunity to open the pandora's box and suggest "maybe" seeking some help for himself. Not one thing in the email states he is acknowledging his addictions, just me "pushing him away and him running". But also stating to him, I would never let active addiction in my home or heart ever again so why is he telling me that he loves me. Not sure if I should bring up that I heard he saw Hamilton with his "girlfriend" a couple months ago, so I know that is still going on. I am sure he is using her to facilitate his drinking, just like he did me.

So in his email, he said that he "prayed" that we would get back together and that we could get "remarried" at this destination. Said it was good for us to be on our own as I always did so much for him and he needed to take care of himself. (enabler, me) Said I probably had moved on in my life but he wanted me to know that he still loved me, because life is short.

I am sure I am making more out of this then I should. I just so want to "reiterate" that there is help out there for him, if he chooses to go that route. Sock it to me people, as i know you will knock some sense in me.

Besides that, Happy Easter, my Christian friends