Originally Posted by Maudcat

Welcome, Muddled. Lots of support here.
As others have said and will say, you can't control your SO's drinking or her behavior.
Being with an addict is the hardest thing there is. It sounds from your post that she does not want to stop drinking at this point.
That is who she is. Only you can decide your way forward, but the relationship doesn't sound promising or particularly positive.
I hope you will stop drinking and stay stopped. That doesn't help anything.