Why do I stay? We enjoy a lot of the same things - movies, golf, laughing, going for long walks, so some healthy stuff together. He is a great listener - and has great emotional intelligence. He is an incredibly kind-hearted person - it's like there is this amazing soul underneath all these demons that I wish he would let lead him to a better place. Unfortunately, he's just numbed himself out of dealing with his past family stuff with all these substances. And I know now it's not my job to fix him - I thought for a long time that my positive influence could help but really it's hurt me...especially financially - which is another huge red flag that I've contributed to in a big way... So much enabling when I look back.
He's tried to stop Kratom several times - tapering...cold turkey...I supported him as much as I could. I know there are people out there who depend on Kratom as it helps overcome addiction to harder drugs - and those that say it's no worse than coffee - so this one is confusing for me. It just seems like it's truly an addiction for him...he has to make sure he has some at specific times of the day or he can't get by.
Note - he has only met my kids two times - both in casual situations. But it's come to the point now where if he's not going to be in their lives, then the relationship is pointless because they are part of me. And my intuition is telling me it's not a good idea.