Berrybean

If you have that step 1 work you did, I'd suggest reading it through whenever your AV suggests that a drink will make things better. We can't shut that voice in our head up, but we H can train ourselves to listen to the lying little rat.

So, moving forward in the search for solutions to you current predicament I would suggest..

Every morning...

* Pray / meditate (the prays I sent you, plus the serenity prayer are good for starters, and you can add to them as you go)
* Read your step 1 stuff
* Plan how you are going to avoid the HALT triggers for that day
* Read the list of what you are going to do if you are temoted to drink
* Listen to a speaker recording as you go to work or go about the start of your day (little mp3 players can be bought as cheap as chips online, then no one can hear what you're listening to)


When you feel the urge to drink...
* phone your sponsor. Don't worry about what you're going to say. Just call and worry about that when she picks up the phone. You're more likely to have a useful and honest conversation if you do this, and besides, procrastination just gives that voice in your head more time to work on you. If your sponsor doesn't answer the phone or can't speak, then call another AAer. We are not restricted to our sponsors. If you haven't got people's number, then get some so you're armed ready.
* read through your step 1 work again and play the tape forward - past the bit where alcohol has just numbed your feelings, because that's just a tiny bit of it. Think about how you'll feel the next morning, when you tell your sponsor and people here you drank again, think about those 12-step promises. They only happen if you work the program thoroughly. Do you want those things? Drinking will never ever bring those things to you. It stops you getting those things. Step work is sober work. It isn't done to get sober. It is done so that we can learn how to make sobriety fulfilling. It's not a case of you do the steps THEN stop drinking. It just doesn't work like that.
* check the HALT triggers (are you Hungry-Anger-Lonely-Tired? ) If so, address those straight away.
* pray, pray and pray some more. "God, please remove this obsession to drink from me. Help me to sit with these feeling and not take a drink." (Or words of your own)
* find someone who you can help (this place usually has plenty of people needling support or encouragement). Is there someone you know who has troubles of their own that you can help with a phone call asking how they are, or a note in the post to say you're thinking of them? Chances are it'll help you just as much as it helps them.
* DO something (those feelings are bad enough on their own, without giving them an audience). Crafting, colouring, a chore, take a shower. Anything other than drink. The craving will pass. It will, believe me.
* write a gratitude list


You know in meetings when they say 'it works if you work it'? Well, that is truer than true. And it don't work if you don't work it. So work it. You're worth it.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB