Thank you for your replies. Appreciate it and hugs to you TT.
My sister came home. Her house is close to mine. She has no internet or cable, and is about to lose power and water, and she is upset about that, which boggles the mind because she's about to be dead from her progressive alcoholism. She is more concerned that she doesn't have a phone.
When she disappears for a length of time I start to worry, and I imagine horrible scenarios. She came over to visit today (I watch her son after school until his father picks him up) and she stayed about an hour. It is rare for her to come over. It is rare for her to ask about her son or to thank me. Today she thanked me for watching her son. I don't expect thanks. I know she's an addict and self-absorbed. I don't expect anything and I know I want to know if she's alive for my own selfish reasons. I want to know if she is okay so I can stop worrying, which is codependent, right? I don't know.
I am concerned for her health and well-being. I tell her I love her and I worry for her. I told her she can visit anytime. I don't know if that is the right thing or not. I don't mind her visiting. She asked for food and I offered to make her scrambled eggs and toast, or something else that appealed, and she said she could only stomach one piece of toast. She has no money. She has not been eating. She has sold almost everything and the drug-addicted guy who was using her is gone now that the money is gone.
I want to say, "Stay here with me. I'll make dinner and we'll watch movies" but I know that she would not do that. She had to leave to drink. It's really surreal and shocking and heartbreaking and a tragedy. You should see my sister. She is wonderful and beautiful and has so much to be grateful for but she is killing herself.