She needs to prove herself to us. Get her kids back...etc, etc
wow, all that for a dinner invite. would you have a vetting process for ANYONE he decided to bring? it's seems a little....elitist, almost.
your 43 year old son should be "allowed" to make his own choices regarding his interpersonal relations with others. whether you approve or not. you cannot control what he does or who he sees. if you cannot accept the person he has chosen to be with, then you also do not accept him.