hey katrina, what your feeling is completly normal. just dont give in to the feelings. i had the hardest time bieng the "sober" one and in the end i went back to it. now i finally can look back and see how selfish i was and manipulative to my own mind. tellling myself that i can be friends with the addict and not become one. the addict has an addictive mind. the feeling of wanting to get high no matter what it is is also normal. ive felt that way too tons of times. i still do sometimes. the first month of my sobriety i swore i wasnt going to make it. but i tried and tried each day to fight the urges to score. sometimes id wake up at the wee hours in the morning and wake up my roommates when i was in my halfway house crying and trembling because "i just knew i wasnt gunna make it" it took some time some patience some reading and some honesty with myself and my support system to get to where i am today. im only a few months sober. you should check out what i wrote about my story. its in the peoples storys link.