Hey harley girl,
I know it may not seem like it right now, but we really do go through things for a reason. Continue going to counseling, it is the best place for you. You may not notice changes right away, like others have said, be patient with yourself...change is so hard and baby steps really are the way. Lean on your trusted friends for support to vent no matter how many times you need to, that does not matter.
One author I can recommend if you like to read, any book by Harriet Lerner. Go to the book store or library. You could go to either one and if you chose to read it, maybe check it out at the library and if you like it, then buy it. I found those books to be very helpful and empowering. One of her most popular books is called, "Dance of Anger"....my fav. book by her is "Dance of Intimacy"
Keep your chin up. (SMILE)