I think focussing on yourself is the best idea. Manage your expectations and do not ever get your hopes up. My exah has been in detox more times than I can count. He has had 3 long term rehabs. 3 months and 6 and 3 months again and is still drinking. He came out of rehab last night and is now incommunicardo after promising to take our son out today. This only means one thing. He came out and got straight back on it. My son is resigned. Exah has died 3 times due to drinking and had cpr and has serious health issues from the amount he drinks and has never found his bottom. I no longer care. I concentrate on my own life and have no thought to what he is doing except when it is forced in front of me like today.