Kaily, I'm so pleased to read your post! Yes, my Beast loved to speak to me through the AV, by saying I'd done well and deserved a reward! Some reward, to drink and then wake up feeling so devastated and disappointed with myself for drinking.
I too live on my own part of the week, whilst my husband works away from home. He still doesn't realise how bad I was, it was relatively easy to hide it, when he wasn't here full time.
I have two dogs (light of my life) whom I gain so much enjoyment from and love training them. Of course the AV would suggest an alcohol reward after a successful training session, but no thank you.
I too, forsake food for alcohol, oh my, those were the horrible days. In the early days after stopping drinking, I made jelly, bought ice cream and chocolate cake and would fill a bowl with all three - lovely comfort food, which released lots of feel-good chemicals in my brain. I also went to bed early. Tried to cosset myself, after harming myself for so long.
At seven months now, the comfort food is off the table and after buying a Fitbit in January, I've finally learnt how to use it and intend to become fitter-ish!
So glad you're still reading and posting and doing so well
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