8 years and struggling
I've been sober for just over 8 years and I feel extremely disconnected from my higher power. The last 2 years have been very stressful with a loss of a job, strain on my marriage etc. I know my higher power is not Santa Clause, but there is a part of me that feels like I'm being punished. I am praying everyday multiple times, going to meetings, and attempting to help others to get out of my self pity, but to no avail. Thankfully I have no desire to drink, but I have to admit, as ashamed as I am to type it, I can't help but wonder what is it all for. I am being consumed with anger and self pity, because I don't feel I am getting any direction from my higher power. I am lost and scared.