Musiclady,
It's so wonderful to hear your uplifting and positive story. I'm in a similar place, although 14 months along, and I agree--it's just incredible to find out you can make your life so much better, for yourself and your kids. I share your relief at being in control of your own finances, too. When we split, I went through our accounts and saw so much of his spending that I hadn't realized before (gambling, Vegas, gazillions of ATM withdrawals, probably for undetectable booze). Now I know what I have, know what I can afford, and I feel financially secure again. What a relief. That, and the part about no longer being yelled at for anything/everything I do . . .