Please don't get me wrong guys. My bf does his share of things around the house, too. It's not like I'm the only one doing laundry or cooking. The man made us all breakfast this AM and he took care of the yard (which is something I used to do for 20 years in my marriage with barely any help from my XAH) all before 8 AM today.
I think, for me, it's about adjusting to the largeness of our family and al the dynamics between us. I was used to just 3 people's laundry, 2 beds with linens to be washed, etc. Now I've got 4 beds, 5 people (my son does his own laundry usually but sometimes I help him out because he's working or at school for days on end). Even having a cat who walks around crying for you to just run the water in the bathtub for him is driving me up a wall!
And, SParkleKitty is right. My bf will ask me if I want him to take over a certain task if he knows I've been run over with stuff all day long and I just say, "No. I'm good. I got it." His youngest has often pointed out that her dad always offers to help me: whether it's to make dinner, take out the trash, throw in the laundry, etc. But, I get my superhero cape out and I take it all on......you know, because I'm so special....UGH
Recently I complained to my bf about his youngest crawling into bed with us too much and just when I was starting to get resentful about it last night......after he had gone to bed early and she followed him in there......he came out at 10 PM with her in his arms wrapped in her blanket and he took her to her room so she wasn't with us.
So, if anything, this is all on ME, right? My bf tries to give me space. Tells the girls that I'm not their maid service, etc. And, for the record, I don't touch their rooms or their bathroom. That's on him to clean or for them to clean it up themselves.
Honestly, my biggest issue with him is that his time frame for doing stuff does not align with mine. I'm a git 'er done and get it done right now kind of person. He's a 'I'll get to it eventually so just let me get to it, ok" kind of person. So, if dinner's not being prepped by 6:15 or so I get impatient and then ask him if he wants me to cook dinner and he'll say, "I can make something. What do we have?" Then I wait another 10 minutes and sometimes he's starting something and sometimes he's still reading his book or watching the news, lol. I'm salivating and the kids are whining about 'when's dinner going to be ready' and he's completely oblivious!
And, if he needs my help with the girls and their school schedules I sometimes say no and tell him to figure it out if he can without me. I also tell the girls no a lot when they want something from me. I go to meetings, play tennis at night sometimes, and try to meet up with friends. I make it clear that I have things that I need to do that are important to me that might not include helping them study for a history test.
Again, I think it's just the dynamics of everything. When you're in your 20s and you move in with someone, you only have to adjust to 1 person and you get to expand your relationship with them. You get to know them more intimately. For my bf and I, those times are limited and there are other priorities. It's just very different at our age. I'm trying to figure out how to live among 3 completely different humans. I'm just not very laid back and tend to be uptight so my feathers get ruffled very easily. It's totally NOT a walk in the park, that's for sure!