So the only amends I had left was to my mom i was raised in a christian home always believed in God !!! But not that salvation was asking Jesus into your heart which is not his real name!!! I know all alcoholic addicts have salvation the good one's and bad one's maybe about the bad ones!!! I was taught by all women teachers until 5th grade when I was sent to the abyss!!! Public school the hole world I was brought up in was a lie never taught about evil!!! But I have fully recovered in 21 days slept 11.5 and a half hours last night think . Stigma and not being honest harmed me but nothing happens in Gods world by mistake there's nothing i would change about my life or past some lessons have to be lived to be understood !!!