Kcas

Never written anything like this before, and I'm hoping for some guidance. I recently broke up with my 3 year boyfriend over the issue of alcohol-and I'm having a hard time accepting my choice. We met when I was 25 and out of state-our relationship started online and blossomed from there. We met on trips and one year later I took the plunge to move back to my home state (where he lived) with him as my primary reason (though I told myself different at the time). Throughout our early courtship in different states he would regularly go out with friends and get intoxicated and drive home completely impaired-all the while I stayed on the phone with him to make sure he made it home (he is a single child that still lives at home with his parents-he is now 28). Practically moving in with him and his parents when I first arrived, he devolved quickly. He couldn't seem to control his alcohol consumption when he drank (didn't seem dependant on it to live), one led to two, three ect. At times he would be a happy intoxicared person, at others he was an insecure verbal abusive person (brought out his inner demons). We separated for a week, and in that time he went out late one night-got drunk, drove home and got into an accident that should have taken his life (car rolled down an enbankment 4 times). He luckily walked away with a few scratches and a DUI. The next year and a half was full of therapy, dui classes, and personal growth that I had never seen in him before. No drinking involved, completely sober.New car, new job, new improved relationship together and we were finally saving to move out together. About a month ago, he told me he wants to drink again-right after we started picking out furniture. He told me to trust him, that he fixed the problems with himself in therapy and he can control his drinking now. He wouldnt give me any security, he felt con trolled if I even suggest a no. Of beverages per day. His enabling parents told them they trust him-and I flat out said I dont- not with alcohol. He has even admitted to me earlier in our relationship he is a compulsory personality.He refused to accept my attempts at limits on beverages, and said he wants validation for his year and a half recovery. My conclus in that I don't want it in our relationship anymore (my boundary) was met with: "I respect your opinion, but I reserve the right to make that choice for myself". Never once did he acknowledge my viewpoint of past fear and inability to trust to even compromise-the answer was always "this is about trust, you need to trust me". My gut told me signing an apartment lease without knowing his relationship to alcohol was unfair and not safe for me-and his utter lack of respect or acknowledgment to my feelings showed his prioritization of his choice to drink over our relationship. Was this right? He didn't fight when I left just let me waltz out the door with his parents comforting him the whole time, I haven't heard from him either. I understand that I made the big sacrifices in this relationship to leave my family and start a life with this guy...was it wrong to ask for him to sacrifice a substance that caused so much emotional destruction in our relationship?