Letting go with Love
Hi all well for the first 4 weeks I had no contact with My AH who is currently staying at his mums.
Sunday I got a text saying he loves me and our daughter and doesn't want to lose us. Monday he attended a meeting and has admitted fully he is an Alcoholic and cant stop. He called last night and asked me to attend a meeting with him tonight. I said NO this is his journey and his recovery he needs to do this alone. I told him I love him and I support him but I am focusing on myself and our daughter. I will not live with an active drinker/ addict. I am 2 years clean and sober and protect my own sobriety.
Putting distance between us has really brought home to me my relationship addictions and how I was focusing on his addictions instead of my own recovery. Yes I still love him, Yes I hope he sees recovery through but I am also realistic and know this does not happen over night. It needs to be his journey and I am stepping back
Its a relief to know its ok to still love him and tell him that but I also have to let go. At least if he relapses or it takes him many times to really get it, myself and my daughter are not involved in the chaos. Im starting to feel better the anxiety is subsiding and im starting to make plans for my life.
I am off to Amsterdam for 3 days with my eldest daughter and our youngest is staying with her Dads family. I am off on a night out in London with my best friend. As I am a teacher I have two weeks off from tomorrow so ill be attending lots of daytime meetings and arranging lunches with my friends. I am going to get better for me and hopefully he is going to get better for him. Either way if I am working on me and connecting with Gods will for my life ill be better prepared to face and deal with all outcomes.
Today is a very good day