Hi Pelagic
I don't believe that you or anyone else here is doomed. That's just drink talk designed to make more drinking easier.
They say if you're in a hole, stop digging.
Whats it going to take for you to stop digging?
Adding the Class of March 17, committing to posting here daily and especially when you feel you're in danger, Dr, counsellor, AA or some other group..rehab inpatient or outpatient?
None of those ideas might seem attractive but when you're drowning you don;t quibble about the colour of the lifeboat.
I understand pride but seriously - we've all been where you are... or worse.
You'll find compassion here, not judgement - sounds like you have that end of things pretty tied up anyway.
stop beating yourself up - you'll need that energy to find, and do, something different
D