Feeling Hopeless
Hi everyone. This website is fantastic - so much caring and genuine support and understanding.
I recently went to rehab and came out bound and determined to stop drinking and never have to be institutionalized again. Like every time I've made this commitment to myself, I really meant it. Well... 2 days ago I relapsed, hard. As usual one small drink became an entire bottle, then another because I started feeling withdrawal set in.
Physically and mentally I am drained. I don't know why I can't trust myself. I'm scared of going through withdrawal, as I have before and it landed me in the ER a few times. I don't want to go back there because I'm afraid they'll put me in the psych ward and won't let me leave.
I once got a withdrawal-induced panic attack several days after stopping, and it was truly horrific. I'm just scared and ashamed and wish I didn't have this baffling problem. I feel super shaky and kind of have the "brain fog" thing going on... I just hope it doesn't escalate further.
Any advice would be really appreciated.