Katchie, there is a guy who is now a ministry leader of a local Celebrate Recovery. His testimony is wonderful. Part of his testimony involves being in jail, realizing he had nothing left but to turn it over to God and reach for recovery. He also talks about how had things not gotten as bad as they were, he likely would have never gotten any better, likely would have died.
There is always hope friend. You are not obligated to go to any hearing or do anything beyond what you have done. You are such a great mom, and now it's time to turn it over to a higher power.
Tight hugs. We are here with you every step of the way.