Still obsessing with alcohol
I'm sober for 5 months now and I still find myself obsessing about alcohol quite much. I have cravings of some intensity nearly every day and I have thoughts about drinking still every day. Most of the times they're pretty "harmless" just thoughts like "oh wouldn't a glass of wine be nice now" and only very, very rearely where I actually think about buying booze.
I'd say I am good at recognising them as my AV immediately and most of the time it's relatively easy to let go of these thoughts. Still I find it very exhausting and am wondering if it's normal at 5 months.
I did never make the decision "to never drink again and never change my mind" because it scares me to be honest. I know that I can never drink normally again and am comfortable about admitting that I am an alcoholic but making a life long comittment to anything seems overwhelming and scary to me. So all I know is that I won't drink today.
Did that maybe leave some kind of back door open for the AV?