Originally Posted by hopeful4

Of course you want him to be well, and to want that so much that he will change his behavior. It's not likely. I always caution people about Rock Bottom. I don't think there is such thing, or for many, it's death. Addiction ebbs and flows. It's worse at some times, maybe gets better for a time, then rinse and repeat. There is not always some big epiphany Rock Bottom.

My XAH had a family member step in to take care of everything, then eventually found another wife to take over his life. I knew it would happen just like that b/c he absolutely refuses to take care of himself. (Pay bills, make phone calls, be an adult).

When I first came here I though for sure my XAH had hit his bottom. Nope, it was rinse and repeat for years, and he is still going. It's sad, but it's also reality.

You are right, No Contact, and eventually your mind will focus on you. Until then, just like addiction, it will ebb and flow. Some days will be better than others, and that is absolutely ok. Keep posting, keep reaching out for the support you deserve.

Hugs.