I agree, you do care or you wouldn't be posting here. There have been lots of good responses already, I wanted to add I'm sorry for your struggling and I empathize with the struggles you are going through.
I agree seeing a dr is a great idea.
Detox was never a joke to me. I know I had to do a lot of reading and learning before I got the courage to go. But it helped me see things a little differently. So did going in for a 6 week treatment program (government funded in the province I live in).
The thing is... giving up is still making a choice, to continue on in the same fashion, which is a path to self-destruction. And as it's been said, you've shown up here and posted, which is a good sign that there is a part of you that clearly does not want a disastrous end or situation.
You can choose to make a different choice... keep taking whatever help wherever you can, read around here, on other sites on the internet, if you have strength make some calls...
I had to start with little choices and work my way up to having the courage to make the big choices. I used to think I was a hopeless case too. None of us are. It may not be easy, but if you work on it.. it can and does get better.
Hang in there my friend.. keep posting and reading.